


Matchmaking Sand Monsters

by maybe_im_tired



Series: fics with kid! sides [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxceit - Freeform, Familial Moxiety - Freeform, Family Fluff, Fluff, Food mention, Gay Disaster Deceit | Janus Sanders, Gen, Kid Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Kid Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Kid Morality | Patton Sanders, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, No Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28753206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybe_im_tired/pseuds/maybe_im_tired
Summary: Janus wasnevera fan of children, and he was adamant about it, too.He just didn’t understand all the hype surrounding them. Especially when they were somehow an extra bratty version of their entitled parents. Always whining and screaming, asking for stuff they didn't need, and covering his favorite shirts and pants with snot, drool, and tears.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: fics with kid! sides [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2183703
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	Matchmaking Sand Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> I really need to spend less time around children, because I can't stop myself from writing kid fics.

Janus was _never_ a fan of children, and he was adamant about it, too.

He just didn’t understand all the hype surrounding them. Especially when they were somehow an extra bratty version of their entitled parents. Always whining and screaming, asking for stuff they didn't need, and covering his favorite shirts and pants with snot, drool, and tears.

_Thankfully_ , _he was an only child._

He couldn’t imagine for the life of him having to deal with one or, _God forbid_ , more of them in the future, –n _ot that he needed to worry about any of that yet,_ – it was just clear that he wasn’t Dad Material and his partner would have to accept that.

_Or so he thought, anyway._

It was a huge surprise to everyone when he decided to give babysitting a try in order to get some extra cash. He knew how desperate that made him seem but after everything else has failed he wasn’t allowed to be picky.  
To say that it worked would be a huge understatement because what came as an even bigger surprise, was how quickly he became attached to the two absolute ~~really adorable~~ nightmares he was in charge of taking care of.  
He's been babysitting the twins for two months now and a small part of him wished he had found the job earlier.

At first, he thought the reason he always got excited to see them was because their parents paid him well, and seeing them, as horrible as that sounded, meant him getting paid.

But then, as he became _really_ invested in Remus’ stories — or _adventures_ , as he insisted on calling them, — seeing how the little gremlin's face always lit up when he told him his story was really good and the monsters he made up were really terrifying. As he watched Roman go off about how he would remake a certain Disney movie — where Janus would always be the main character who needed saving for some reason — jumping around and acting out every possible dramatic scene, sometimes forcing Janus to play along. As the two monsters would tackle hug Janus as soon as they saw him walk in and start telling him about their day and showing him their drawings and various creations. Janus knew that it was no longer about the money, though _their parents_ didn’t need to know that.

Apparently _he could_ like some children.  
Especially children with too much energy, who talked too much and had a _really_ weird but also impressive imagination.  
  
Don't get him wrong, babysitting the twins wasn't easy. They weren't always some innocent, adorable angels. Quite the opposite, they needed to be watched all the time and If he had a dollar every time he had to stop Remus from eating something deadly, or every time he had to stop Roman from playing with kitchen knives because _‘Look, they are just like swords, Jan!’ ,_ or for that matter every time he had to stop the two from trying to kill each other, he would never need to work, _l **ike ever again**.  
  
_

Case in point, Remus’ weird and very concerning love for climbing dangerously high places.

“Just for five minutes, I’ll get you an apple, I know you like those!”

“For the last time,” Janus smirked at the little boy’s antics, “I'm _not_ letting you climb that tree, and you _can’t_ bribe me with an apple.”

“But why?”

“Well, first, apples are an old bribing method. Plus, I prefer yellow apples and these are green-“

“No, I mean why you won’t let me climb it!” Remus whined and pulled on Janus’ hand, clearly trying to pull the older boy closer to the tree, “Just look at it!”

“I am,” Janus said dryly, not budging.

“No, I mean _really_ look at it, Jay!” Remus whined more and gestured to the tree with his other hand. “It’s just so crazy! “

“It looks like the product of nightmares!” Roman scoffed, gesturing with Janus’ other hand, “I wouldn’t be surprised if it had an evil spirit or two.”

Janus rolled his eyes but Remus’ tug only grew stronger, well, as strong as an eight-year-old could be.

“Exactly, Janny!” He pleaded, trying his best impression of puppy eyes but Janus wasn’t fooled. “Come on, pleeeeease?”

“While I'm delighted that you finally learned to use that word, I still have to decline-“

“But why?”

“Oh, I don’t know!” Janus mocked, “ Maybe because I don’t want you to fall down and break something, your parents would kill me. Besides we’re going to the playground, where **_you_** can climb whatever you want, while **_I_** get to relax a little.”

“But they aren’t as high-“

“Oh, they aren’t?” Janus asked, “That’s really a shame.”

Remus sighed dramatically and gave up on the tree, finally allowing Janus to lead them away and towards the playground.

“You just want to go there so you can spend your time staring at that weird boy!” He grumbled crossing his free hand over his chest.

“That’s not true-!” Janus sputtered but his embarrassed squeak and blushed cheeks gave him away. _Wow, really smooth, Janus. You can’t lie to **a child.**_

He sighed and added quietly. “He’s not weird.”

The first time Janus saw Virgil at the playground, he couldn’t believe his eyes, because no way in hell was that the same ball of angst he had chemistry with.

Then again, it's not like he paid the guy much attention before, he may have been a little cute but he was too gloomy and very snarky for someone to actually find him attractive and pursue him in that way.

However, here was the same guy looking like a completely different person. The purple bangs which normally covered half his face were pushed slightly back exposing two eerily serene grey eyes, and his signature black hoodie traded for a purple-patched one, but the thing that surprised Janus the most was the fact that **_Virgil, who rarely cracked a smile, was laughing._**

**_Like full-on, doubled-over, eyes squinted and wrinkled, as he held his stomach, laughing._ **

**_And, oh God. Did Janus forget how to breathe at that moment._ **

The spell almost broke, however, when the kid that was with Virgil spilled his drink on him, soaking his entire hoodie with what looked like orange juice. He started shaking and his eyes welled up with tears. Janus tensed as Virgil straightened immediately, expecting him to get angry or start shouting. _He was known for not being the calmest person, after all._

Except Virgil didn't seem to care, he picked the kid up and sat on the bench, placing the kid on his knees, he gently wiped his tears, brushed his hair out of his eyes, and comforted him until the kid calmed down and was giggling again.  
Janus watched curiously as he took off his hoodie placed it on the bench to dry before walking off and getting the kid another drink, all while not even looking remotely upset.  
  
After that, he began unintentionally paying more attention to Virgil. Each time Janus’ eyes drifted over to him he would find himself daydreaming about his eyes, his carefree laugh, about the shy smile he rarely got glimpses of at school, about how it would feel to be the cause of the bigger and more real ones he saw at the playground-

_So, yeah, maybe **he was** going to spend his time watching Virgil **again** , but that doesn’t mean he had to admit to doing it. _

“You should talk to him!” Roman suggested breaking Janus out of his thoughts. “he's really nice and you can be friends!”

“If he’s not nice to you then he’s weird _and_ stupid!” Remus nodded seriously.

“But he’s nice to me and Remus and his brother is very sweet, we played hide-and-seek together a few times.” Roman provided cheerfully, before frowning, “ I can never find him though.”

“He’s very small, probably hides under the sand or something.” Remus shrugged before looking back at Janus, “Do you want me to talk to the weird guy for you?”

“No, Remus, I would appreciate it if you **_don’t_** do that.” Janus grumbled as he pushed the gate for the playground open with his foot. “and stop calling him weird.”

“He looks like a raccoon!”

“You look like a raccoon!” Janus fired back, in a very mature way and Remus grinned like it was a compliment.

“Do you think I can get a pet raccoon?” The kid asked and Janus had to hold back his groan.

_Well, at least we can change the subject._

“If your parents agree on it, which they probably won’t.”

“Can you convince them for me?” He asked batting his eyelashes.

Like Janus said, babysitting the two of them was never easy.  
Still, if anything wanted to hurt these two, they would have to go through him first.  
  


~

Virgil’s eyes never left his brother as he sat on the edge of the sandbox and watched the five-year-old roll around. He groaned internally because cleaning the sand out of their clothes was never easy, but seeing how happy Patton was, he couldn’t bring himself to be actually upset about it.

Patton giggled before getting up and running to him, gesturing for Virgil to pat him down.

“You like getting the sand all over you just so I can dust it off you, huh, Pat?”

Patton nodded excitedly and started giggling again as Virgil attempted to dust the sand of his back, he shook his head from side to side and coughed a little when more sand fell on his face.

“SHh- shoot, I think you got it everywhere this time, buddy,” Virgil said as he took a second look at his brother. _Yep, this will be hell to clean out._ “Wait, I think I have something here-“ He looked into his backpack for a moment before pulling out a few wet wipes and began cleaning Patton’s face and ears.

“Wanna see!” Patton whined when Virgil moved to throw the wipe away.

The older brother chuckled and showed Patton the now orange wipe, “I should’ve taken a picture, Logan would have loved it.”

“I can do it again!” Patton gasped, he moved fast towards the sandbox but Virgil was faster and picked him upside down.

“ _Nooo_ -! ” Patton squirmed in his arms, getting sand all over his brother and giggling as Virgil attempted to carry him properly.

“No more sand for you, buddy.” Virgil chuckled and sat him on the edge next to him, he brushed his hair out of his eyes and covered his nose with a napkin, “come on, blow in this, you can’t breathe right if you have sand all the way to your lungs.”

“toot-toot!” Patton said after blowing his nose, and Virgil rolled his eyes fondly.

_How on earth was he related to someone this adorable?_

“You do realize I will have to carry you all the way to the bathroom without mom noticing, right?”

“Woah, you look like you got hit with a sandstorm!” Virgil jumped at the sight of two kids in front of him, “You can be the sand monster!”

“Sand monster?” Virgil arched an eyebrow at Remus, but Patton has already started bouncing in excitement at the sight of his friends.

“We need a monster for our adventure today,” Roman nodded seriously, “And Janus refuses to play the part.”

Roman pointed to a bench where Janus was sitting holding a book in front of him and looking very ~~handsome~~ engrossed by it, as if sensing Virgil’s gaze he looked up and locked eyes with Virgil for a second. Virgil felt his cheeks flush slightly as he nodded in acknowledgment towards his classmate and received a nod from the other before he went back to his book.

Virgil turned back to the twins who were watching him expectantly.

_Now is not the time for gay panicking, Virgil. You have a lot of time for that at school._

He cleared his throat awkwardly and nodded again as to assure himself of something.

“Monster!” Patton said pulling on Virgil’s hoodie strings impatiently.

“Yes, Patton. You’re the cutest and toughest sand monster.” Virgil smiled, _I suppose if I'm going to give him a proper bath once we get home anyway, he might as well have fun right now._ “and what are you two going to be?”

“I’m the prince, obviously.” Roman declared, pointing to his paper crown, “I'm going to protect the sand monster!”

“No, I'm going to protect him and we are going to fight you, monsters are with the bad guys always!”

“But he doesn’t have to be a bad monster, Remus!”

“It’s in **_the name_** _,_ Roman!”

“Alright, alright, I have an idea, how about you split the adventure into two parts, so the monster goes with the prince at first and then the bad guy kidnaps him?”

“But- I'm the one who said he can be the sand monster, he should be on my team first!”

“Okay, whatever, Remus he can go with you first.” Roman grumbled, and Remus brightened, he leaned and whispered something to Patton before the two started running away, leaving a very confused Roman behind them, “Wait, we need a story first!”

“Hey, be careful, and don’t go far!” Virgil called after them as Roman tried to catch up to the other two, he knew it was pointless, he wasn’t going to let Patton out of his sight anyway.

~

Janus carefully lowered his book and snuck a look at the guy who has taken over his mind for the past weeks, he was leaning back on a wall, his hands in his pockets and one earbud in as he watched his little brother run around with the twins. His hair has fallen on his face a few minutes ago rudely obscuring one of his startling grey eyes, and every moment or so, that warm and fond smile would find its way to his lips.

They weren’t even ten feet away from the other, but like usual they didn’t talk much, _if at all_. Just exchanged awkward glances and nods before going back to doing their own thing.

_Which, in Janus’ case just happened to be daydreaming about him._

_This is very stupid._ He took a deep breath, _just talk to him, Janus. You did it before, it shouldn’t be this hard! Come on, just go be your charming smooth self, what could go wrong?_

“So, Vi-“

“HEY, JANUS!”

Janus yelped back and dropped his book at the sound of Remus shrieking his name, he groaned internally, face growing steadily darker as Virgil snickered and attempted to hide his smile.

_So much for being your smooth, charming self._

He turned his attention to the kid who has at some point materialized in front of him. Remus was covered from head to toe with sand, he has taken off his jacket and tied it around his shoulders like a cape, and was grinning wildly as he shifted from one foot to the other.

Janus took a deep breath as his racing heart calmed down, “Hey, Rem. What are you up to now?”

“Look at me, I'm a sand monster!” Remus exclaimed. “Can you help me-“

“We only need one sand monster, Remus!” Roman groaned from behind him interrupting whatever his brother wanted, and Remus stuck his tongue out at him.

“Says who?”

“I don’t know about you, Roman, but two sand monsters are _always_ better than one, don’t you think?”

Janus turned and locked eyes with Virgil who came and sat right next to him, leaning his back and sending Janus a dashing smile _, and oh god was that a **beautiful** sight. _

“Of course,” Janus said smirking, _because maybe not all is lost “_ The more the merrier.”

Remus beamed at that, “Yes, join us, Roman!” He called to his twin before flopping down on the ground next to Patton who looked like he was trying to make a sand angel.

“But the prince isn’t supposed to get dirty!”

“No?” Virgil arched an eyebrow before leaning forward and winking to Remus. “It would be a shame if two of the _most powerful_ sand monsters I know tackled the prince to the ground, wouldn’t it?”

Remus’ eyes gleamed as he jumped to his feet and nodded eagerly, buzzing with mischief.

“Pattycakes, let’s attack!”

Roman’s eyes widened as he seemed to understand what Virgil meant, he didn’t get a chance to act though as Remus quickly tackled him. The twins wrestled around on the ground, while Patton adorably attempted to kick sand at Roman’s feet, only to dirty his own shoes even more.

“Are you proud of what you caused?” Janus turned to Virgil who had a faux innocent expression on his face.

“I didn’t cause anything.” He crossed his hand over his chest and attempted to pout but quickly gave up on that and grinned when Janus snorted.

Finally, after five minutes of absolute chaos, Remus let go of Roman with a triumphant shout of _I win!_

Roman sat up abruptly, causing the sand to fall from his hair and onto his face, he shook his head and attempted to clean his face with his jacket but it only led him to spitting out more sand.

Losing all hope of getting clean any time soon, he glared daggers at his brother and then at Virgil and Janus who were all laughing at the scene.

“THAT WAS CHEATING!”

“It was _not! “_ Remus yelled back.

“You should be prepared at all times, Princey.” Virgil snickered, he got up and started moving towards Patton, “Sneak attacks can be very dangerous.”

Roman huffed but accepted the hand his twin offered, “I will make you pay for that!”

“I have an idea,” Remus said and then whispered something to him.

Virgil didn’t pay attention to them and so he didn’t notice the twins charging at him from the side as he leaned down to pick Patton up, “Come on bud-“

“Remus, Roman!” Janus shouted just in time as Virgil hit the ground with a muffled _Oof._ Patton watching him with wide eyes. _“_ Get off him!”

“But, _Jaaaaanus!_ ” The twins whined. Remus who was in the process of dropping an armful of sand on Virgil’s face froze at Janus’ glare and pulled back opting to drop it on his stomach instead, meanwhile Roman looked like he was trying to bury Virgil alive.

“I’ve created a monster-“ Virgil groaned, he watched as Patton joined the mix and threw himself at his chest with a loud squeal of _Vee!_ “Well, three monsters to be exact.”

“Uh- are you okay?” Janus asked when Virgil closed his eyes and didn’t move.

“I'm fine, just a little heartbroken.” He grumbled, “You know, I should’ve seen that coming.”

“And I thought these two were dramatic,” Janus rolled his eyes with a smile, “Roman, Remus, uh- you too, Patton, get off Virgil so he can breathe-“

“So, we win?” Roman asked still not moving.

“Yeah, I surrender, your highness.”

-

Janus helped a red-cheeked Virgil to his feet despite his multiple protests _that he can get up on his own, thank you very much_. His smirk quickly dropped though as Virgil took off his hoodie, leaving him in a tank top and exposing his strong arms.

_Oh, for heaven’s sake, can’t I stop being gay for **one minute?**_

“I swear I just want to wear this _once_ without it getting dirty,” Virgil mumbled as he dusted the hoodie off. He looked up suddenly and caught Janus staring openly at him with a flushed face. “So,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, ignoring the heat brushing at his own cheeks, “how about some ice cream after this one heck of an adventure?”

“Ice cream?” Remus and Roman repeated at the same time.

“Yeah, ice cream sounds great actually.” Janus affirmed, looking away with a smile.

“Great,” He smiled then glanced at the three dirty kids before gesturing to the bag he had on the bench. “Although, I think we should attempt to clean those gremlins a little. I have a towel you could use to dust the dirt off, plus some wet wipes.”

“Wow,” Janus drawled as he saw Virgil pull out stuff from his backpack, “You came prepared.”

“Uh- yeah,” he scratched the back of his neck, “I'm kinda used to Patton doing this very often.”

“But I'm not done being a sand monster!” Remus whined and Virgil chuckled.

“Well, don’t you want to get ice cream?” He asked, cleaning Patton’s face once again, “If you don’t clean up, it’s gonna taste all sandy and weird.”

Janus leaned closer to him and whispered, “Knowing Remus, he would probably like that.”

“Fiiiine.” Remus’ shoulder’s slumped and Janus turned to him with a weird look, “What? I want chocolate ice cream and it doesn’t taste good with dirt, not like strawberry!”

“I'm not even going to ask.”

-

“Hey, Janny. Why is your face red?” Remus asked tilting his head to the side. “You look like a tomato, is your face going to explode?”

_Well, your face is covered with ice cream, but you don’t see me embarrassing you, kid._

“Wait, is the ice cream thing a date?” Roman asked him with wide eyes, he looked from Janus to Virgil who started pretending to help Patton with the ice cream, and Janus felt himself surpass all levels of embarrassment. “Is that why you both are blushing?”

_Oh, well. Maybe that’s the push I was looking for._

“Unfortunately, this one’s not a date.” He said slowly and didn’t miss the way Virgil’s eyes were watching him expectantly, he rubbed the back of his neck and smiled hesitantly, “ ** _However_** _,_ I would love for the next one to be. Uh- what do you say, Virgil?”

_Wow, super romantic, Janus. It’s really a surprise no one has fallen for you yet._

“I prefer coffee dates.” Virgil said with a genuine smile that made Janus really warm, “But ice cream dates sound good too.”

_Wait, that actually worked?_

_Huh, nice._

“Oh,” Janus’ hesitant smile was replaced with a bigger one, “well, if that’s the case then I think we’ll figure out a way to compromise.”

“Can we come?” Remus asked.

“Remus!” Roman hissed at him, “they’re gonna be kissing and sharing ice cream, like in the movies!”

Remus made a face, “but I want to get ice cream!”

“No, you can’t come, Remus.” Janus said with a chuckle, “But that doesn’t mean I won’t be getting the two of you your favorite ice cream.”

“Really?” The twins asked simultaneously.

“Really.” He assured them with a nod.

**Author's Note:**

> Also headcanon for this fic, the reason Roman can't find Patton when playing hide-and-seek is because Patton always runs to Virgil who ends up hiding him under his hoodie. Do with that as you well.


End file.
